Shift Stays

Now that  the little man was out of danger we thought that it was maybe time to get some routine and give Poppy at least one parent at a time.  So Lee was the first one to go home for a few day's.

So we said good bye and I would see him in a few days when we swapped over.  As I made my way up to the ward I thought this would give me a chance to do things for him.  Now that Lee wasn't here I would have to man up and pull my weight with him.  I said my good mornings to all the staff and sat by his cot, he was still sleeping so I thought best leave him.  Then it hit me, this was the first time that I had, had any time on my own with him.  Lee had always been there with me.  Surely this wasn't right I thought back over the past two and a bit weeks, nope couldn't think of any time.  This was a big thing.  At feeding time the nurse talked to me and said that rounds would be happening soon, she asked were Lee was and told her that he had gone home to spend time with Poppy.  It really was just me and my little dude I thought, this was great I can get in all the cuddles that I had missed out on and change his bum and ask questions that I had not wanted to ask before.  Once she fed him he was sick and I panicked he seemed to struggle and get sleepy afterwards.  She explained that it had taken a lot out of him being sick, because he had a shunt that there would be things that would take a lot out of him. I took that on board and thought that it was great how she explained it so simply and without numbers.  She gave me the confidence to ask more and more over that day.This was my chance to get to know about what was going on and get some in sight into his conditions. But more importantly to get to know my brave little man.

After a few hours although on the ward it can sometimes feel like a few days, I had settled in and was getting to know what happens when, where everything was, remembering to save wet/dirty nappies so that they could be weighted.  For the first time since arriving I thought I can do this, the fear smog was lifting, and I was even manging to start conversation with the nurses.  Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought.

As the day went in nurses were offering up more information they talked to me about day to day stuff as well as talking me through what they were doing and why.  This was great I was being spoken to like a mum, no numbers no big words, just plain old simple facts.

I was starting to feel like I was getting there and coming to terms with everything at last...