Progress

Any parent will tell you that any progress no matter how minor is still progress and a step in the right direction, it's forward.

The day after Ruaidhri surgery we were on good form and feeling good about what the day ahead was going to bring, the stress of the past week seemed to go and we could see the way forward.  It was another early rise as we wanted to be on the ward for rounds and to see how he had managed during the night.  There had been no phone call which can only ever be a good thing.  For once it was the no news is good news factor.  We got up to the ward the staff had changed over and everyone seemed in good spirits about the night he had, had.  We noticed that there were a few less things going on, they were hope full to get the drains out as there was nothing coming from them, they had already started to wean the drugs and there was talk of starting to feed with milk.  Wow we couldn't believe it, what an amazing boy we had, he seemed to be bouncing back and kicking this thing in the arse, he was coming on leaps and bounds, there was even talk of him being moved to the ward within a few days.  How could this be I thought he would have been there for a ages.  He was still on the ventilator at this point but they had started to bring him round, and although he was still puffy he was showing signs of life and movement which is all any of us had wanted.  The strangest and most upsetting part of that morning was watching his face cry and his monitor beep and the alarms going off, but nothing coming out.  There was no noise, never before have I wanted to hear a baby cry so much as I did then, then it dawned on me I hadn't heard him cry since he had been born 7 days ago.  This silence seemed cruel and painful, we were assured that he was fine and they would keep him comfortable, the nurse told us that she would let Ruaidhri guide them on how much he would be able to take that day.  We truly were amazed at how quick things seemed to be moving along.  There was something in the back of my head that was thinking maybe it's all too good to be true and too quick.
While I sat there feeling hopefully for the next few day's the parents across from us still looked full of worry as their baby was still very much attached to a lot and had a lot going on.  Every now and then a nurse or Dr would go to them and draw the curtains round.  I felt for them, there was us looking forward to moving to the next stage and the next ward and they still looked full of dread and worry.  I asked the nurse what was wrong with their little boy and all she could say was he had heart surgery but he had a more complex condition, that was all she could tell us.
  The nurse who was allocated to look after our brave little dude was a bubbly lady who seemed to see nothing but sun at the start and end of her shift, she was up beat and happy.  I asked her how could she be so happy on a ward like this,and her answer was simple she loved her job and she loved having one to one care with the children that she looked after and at the end of the day she could go home, she said that us as parents had to carry on and live through what ever the future had in store. That was the first time I started to realise that maybe the bubble I had thought we would live in maybe wouldn't be as rosy as I had told myself it would be. With that she told us that we should go and get something decent to eat and try and relax as it was her job to worry about him today and get him to be where he wanted to be.  We decided to stay for a while and sit and watch.
To pass the time and try and lighten the atmosphere that seemed to be getting heavier around us we sat and wondered what Dr Knight and Mr Danton would be like out side the hospital, what cars they drove, hobbies even down to what they would drink at the end of a long day.  We came to the conclusion that Mr Danton would have two cars, a weekend runner and a work one (the work one being an Audi and the weekend one MG) his tipple would be Irish whisky(mainly due to the fact he was from Northern Ireland and we couldn't see him with a glass of wine or pint), and golf would be his relaxing time.  To this day I have no idea how close we were to getting it right.  Dr Knight would have an old reliable car and would be a red wine drinker. Turns out he cycles to work. Still it past the time. We got told that the ward would be closing at some point that afternoon so they could attend to one of the babies on the ward, it wouldn't be for too long hopefully.
Lee thought it would be a good time to nip home for a bit, but I had a date with a dark room and pump..